Tuesday, June 19, 2012

orange and purple leadership

Good morning, everybody.

This post is related to this entry in my dream journal.

I also have some updates to some dreams I've had over the past few nights. I'm a slow thinker. So it usually takes a while for some image associations to my dreams to occur to me.

But -- actually, one of the main images of my dream connects to one of the images I wanted to mention in my updates. In the fifth and seventh dreams of today's dream journal entry, there was a tall, beautiful, black man. In the fifth dream, the man helped me find my way. In the seventh dream, he kept feeding me all kinds of sweet food.

I think this man is associated with the man who acted as MC at the Center Stage at this weekend's PrideFest in Denver. I can't find the guy's name right now. Anyway, he was really good, really smart and funny, and he seemed really kind. He's one of those MCs that really make you feel like he's guiding you through the show.

I liked him a lot. But -- he wore a lot of purple. He first wore a purple, sleeveless t-shirt and blue jeans. Then he wore an outfit with purple pants and a shirt like a tuxedo vest with long, purple tails -- so, like the vest of a tuxedo and the tails of a tuxedo's jacket all in one. It was pretty hot.

During the kid's karaoke show, the MC had a young boy up on stage with him. The boy went back stage one time and came out wearing a purple gown, like a graduation gown. The MC had a little exchange with the boy, something along the lines of, "Are you getting into my clothes again?"

And -- even more to my taste -- one of the little girls doing karaoke came up on stage wearing a pink tutu and a pink leotard. After the girl's performance, the MC said, "I need an outfit just like that!"

Of course, I agreed -- except that I would have liked to be wearing a diaper under that outfit as well.

Anyway, after all this purple, it's not surprising that I had the purple diaper and t-shirt dream in this dream entry.

But in this group of dreams, the man acts as something of a leader to me. In one dream, when I myself am trying to be a leader, and I've lost my way, I'm guided without anybody knowing. I think my admiration of the man's crowd-leadership skills (and sense of humor) made me see the man as a leader teaching me to be a leader.

I think the reason that the man appeared as the guy who was going to feed me cupcakes "or else" was probably because I saw him as a man who was so unabashedly himself, while I was still stuck in my shell. I think that eating the sweet food just means allowing myself to be a part of the sweet things in life -- like love. If I didn't open up and accept the sweet food, the man was going to spread my secret, which, obviously, was that I liked the sweet food.

Although, one thing I'll say about the image of the sweet food, is that this definitely comes from this entry in the blog Dust Jacket Attic, showing photographs of sticky date pudding. The sticky date pudding looks pretty much like the little cakes in my dream.

Another thing about being over-fed sweet food is that it is probably a compensation, or a balancing out of the theme of not eating at all in this dream journal entry.

Usually, Jung says, when you have one theme pronouncing itself really powerfully in a dream, you often get the opposed theme pronouncing itself really powerfully in a following dream. That's not always the case. Nothing is "always the case" in dreams or in waking life. But I've noticed that sometimes Jung is right about the idea of compensation.

Of course, another dream I had involved cooking way too much food. The food was fish. And I think that part of this might be my body's reaction that I've been (bachelor, terrible, terrible) eating way too much canned tuna fish lately.

But I think it might also come from this news article, which one of my friends sent me, which describes how a woman in Korea, eating a parboiled squid, had some of the squid's spermatophores shot into her mouth and embedded in her gums. The woman ended up being okay, of course. But it was kind of a gross story.

But this connects the food to sexuality, I think. I think that, if I were equate the food in my dream to my sexuality, I'd say that I probably am "a closed down shop" that "isn't expecting much business," but when I get excited about new business, I prepare too much food. Then I don't really do anything with myself, and all the food I made just sits there and rots. It's a waste of my energy -- physical and emotional. But it's all my fault. Because I don't open up my closed down shop.

I think the hitchhiker in my sixth dream is an interesting image. But I don't know what he means. Last night I browsed around through Alvin Toffler's futurist/sociological work Future Shock. There are a lot of really great things about the book. But I think the hitchhiker image came from a section in the book where Toffler mentions how many young girls in the 1960s hit the road and traveled by hitchhiking.

I personally equated this idea with an idea of Friedrich Nietzsche (I can't remember from which book -- maybe Ecce Homo?) that wanderlust is equivalent to sexual potency. People who have a great desire to travel are often very bold and powerful sexually. Of course, this was an argument made to prove that Kant, whose travels never strayed beyond his afternoon walks around Gothenburg (?), was a prude. And that argument, of course, was made to prove that Kant's philosophy was no good.

But I think that the sexually bold woman (in Nietzsche's scheme of things) in Toffler's book became the hitchhiking boy in my dream. Also sexually bold, the boy just latches on to any old car that passes, assuming it will "give him a ride," which can be taken sexually. Although, I do have to say that that image reminds me of one of my favorite movie scenes, from Back to the Future, where Marty McFly, on his skateboard, latches on to the back of a pick-up truck for a ride.

I'm not sure why we end up killing the boy. But there's obviously a development from the boy being killed to the girl stopping the yellow taxi cab and getting in. I'd say that the boy stands for one aspect of my sexuality and the girl stands for another. I probably need to let the one aspect of my sexuality go and take on the other aspect. 

But the girl seems very much like she's in a horror movie. And I get involved in that "horror movie" atmosphere with her. I'm not sure what that means. Well, I think I have some idea, though. In another passage of Future Shock, Toffler mentions a survey which showed that the one of the top criteria by which girls judge prospective boyfriends is whether they own a car.

So the boy is a hitchhiker. Like me, he hitches rides -- except that I "hitch rides" on public transportation: the bus. The boy is thrown off the bus and killed. Then I find myself in a car. But it's still not a car of my own. It's a car I pay to use by the mile. It's a taxi cab. And it's driven by my mother. But for some reason, this is good enough for the girl to get into.

But the girl "feels sorry" for me and my mom. Why? Probably because I have to get rid of the taxi cab as well. If a car can be seen as standing for my own identity, then I'm in an identity which is *not* my own. I need to get rid of this paid-for identity, which my mom is driving, i.e. in control of, and I need to get an identity of my own. But this would likely be a painful experience for both myself and my mom. Hence the reason for the girl "feeling sorry" for us both.

The final image I'd like to discuss from these dreams is the image of the bottles. A few days ago on this blog I mentioned a "fight" (wasn't much of a fight, on my side) that I got into in 2006. A group of kids gathered around me, right in the very nice Manhattan neighborhood of Gramercy Park, and took turns taunting and hitting me. 

One of the kids actually hit me over the head with a wine bottle. He must not have hit me hard because, even though it really hurt, it didn't stun me or knock me out, and it didn't break the bottle. Anyway, I think the image of hitting my boss over the head with bottles came from this image, which remained at the top of my mind since I'd mentioned it on this blog.

But the bottles I want to smash by dream-boss' skull in with are PET bottles -- plastic bottles. The worst a plastic bottle would do is annoy the heck out of somebody. It would be ineffective as far as knocking somebody out, not to mention killing them, would go. 

But I think these bottles also stand for space station modules. I think I, like a lot of other people, have been interested in China's Liu Yang, the first Chinese woman to go into space. Yesterday I watched the docking of the Shenzhen space capsule with the Tiangong 1 space station on YouTube.

This event, as well as the mention in Future Shock of modularity -- building things like homes and offices and what not, in a modular, changeable way, made me think of one of my favorite space companies, Bigelow Aerospace. They manufacture what used to be called inflatable space stations but are now referred to as expandable space stations.

These space stations are modular. The modules can interconnect with each other, thus building, I believe larger and larger space stations. I think the concept of the Bigelow space station modules is pretty well explained in this YouTube video.

I'm not sure why the space station modules changed themselves into PET bottles that would be completely ineffective at injuring my dream-boss. But I'm pretty sure they did.

Now -- I'd like to discuss a couple final images from some previous dreams. In the second dream of this dream journal entry I was being interviewed to work for a company called Orange. Upon waking, I couldn't think of why I'd dream of a company called Orange.

Well, yesterday, while reading through Reuters, I found this article on piezoelectric power generation. Piezoelectricity is basically a characteristic in certain materials that causes them, when compressed or vibrated, to give off an electric charge. This charge can be stored in batteries or used to charge small electronic devices.

I remembered reading about novel electricity generation concepts, including piezoelectricity, about two years ago. In my trekking through some of these ideas, I happened upon the company Orange, which was working with the company Gotwind to make an electricity-generating boot called Power Wellies. The boot doesn't use piezoelectrics, but a kind of electricity generation attained through temperature differentials -- i.e. the difference of the temperatures inside and outside the boot.

I had totally forgotten about the little excursion I'd done into research on these Power Wellies. And I can't honestly say, even now, why I dreamed I was working for the company Orange. But this is, I'm sure, the company I was dreaming about.

One more update on the color purple from my purple diaper dream from a couple days ago. This is, I think, just a coincidence. But it's interesting to note that Aung San Suu Kyi, a person I admire immensely as a leader, is wearing purple during her Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

And one last update. A few nights ago, I had a dream where I was standing out on a runway, watching an SR-71 landing. Again, I think this image is just coincidental. But the heat-view images in this video, of an Air Force "space plane" landing, have very much the same color scheme as that of my dream of the SR-71 landing.