This blog reviews images from my waking life that influence the images of my dreams.
Today's post reviews this entry from my dream journal blog, Maboroshi no Yume.
In last night's dream, the only image I could really place was the image of the strange bike. This bike definitely comes from the recently posted video by Kelsey Lewin on the Super Nintendo LifeCycle Exertainment Bike. Here's the video.
Of course, the "handlebars" for the bike in my dream were like a wheel that you would see on an old Sit 'n Spin toy.
Image from Buzz Feed Partner on Pinterest
Given that the bike had no wheels, was stuck on a pole, had a Sit 'n Spin wheel, and never got used throughout my entire dream (!!!), I would obviously say that this image has a lot to do with feeling like I'm going nowhere in my life.
I'm really not sure what else the imagery is related to.
In 2001 and 2002 I lived as a Volunteer-in-Parks in Wupatki National Monument, near Flagstaff, Arizona. Ever since that time, the desert has been a huge part of my dreams.
I live back in my hometown of Denver, Colorado, right now. I walk a lot of places to get around town. I've walked as much as possible all my life. I like walking. But I feel like it slows down my life a lot. I also have a lot of scary moments out walking when big trucks pass by me on thin sidewalks or shoulders of the road.
My relationship with my sister is shaky at best. And there are a lot of times that is really distressing to me. I want to be around my sister more. And I want to help my sister more. But I never seem to be able to connect with her.
Notice the v-shape to the top. I really liked this shape. I think my dreaming mind exaggerated it.
Also, while watching YouTube, I came across the video below, for the song called "Baby Cruising Love," by the Japanese pop group Perfume:
You can see in how in the video the girls are wearing really soft, cream-white fabrics.
Also, yesterday I watched a video on the FashionTVHot channel on YouTube showing clips from the Salon de la Lingerie in Paris. There is a girl at 1:29 in this video who looks like an adult version of the younger girl I imagined would come "sweep me off my feet" in my dream.
The clothing the young girl is wearing in the dream definitely comes from the color of this BCBG dress, also shown on Dust Jacket Attic.
But I think the "tie-dyed" pattern definitely comes from some of the patchy patterning in the lingerie in the video above.
There were some more difficult aspects about the imagery in the dream. The first was the "shoes," which were like big, satiny bows. This image, actually, comes from the movie Maid's Secret, which I watched a couple nights ago.
The "maid" in the movie is actually a cosplay maid who works in a "Maid Cafe" in Akihabara. A part of the maid costume is a big bow or ribbon, displayed on the chest. The maid's loss of, and then search for, the ribbon basically leads to a pretty awful rape scene. During the rape scene, the maid's panties get shoved down one of her legs, almost down to the maid's foot.
I think my mind took the bow, as a symbol of submissiveness, and relocated it from my chest to my feet, where the maid's panties were as she'd been raped. I'm obviously wearing a weird transvestite costume. It looks like a man's tuxedo. But my feet, my shoes, are showing the feminine/submissive side I am trying to display by being a transvestite.
Carl Jung says that shoes can be seen (not all the time, but sometimes) as a symbol for socialization. Our feet are where we connect with the world. And our shoes are like the social aspect we employ in ourselves to protect ourselves from the full forces of nature and the world. So even though my "transvestite" costume in the dream looks like a tuxedo, where I'm finally connecting with the world, I'm a submissive maid.
But why the tuxedo in the dream? Well, last night I finished reading Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express. Two plot elements (I don't think I'll spoil anything for anybody) are a red kimono and a railway conductor's outfit.
It's eventually understood that the railway conductor's outfit had probably been worn by a woman. So the woman had been dressed up as a man. She'd been a transvestite, in other words.
The kimono is an elegant piece of clothing, much like the tuxedo. So I think I condensed the image in my mind of a kimono and a railway conductor's outfit to make a tuxedo. So, when I look at myself in the mirror, I'm seeing, apparently, myself, as a woman, dressing in drag, so that I look like a man. But my feet show that I really am a woman. And, underneath my tuxedo, I'm still wearing a dress.
But I think the reason I ran with the image of the female transvestite from Orient Express is that it kind of counters the anxiety I had from watching the rape scene in Maid's Secret. I think I liked the idea in Orient Express of some woman dressing up as a man and killing a man who had caused her so much grief in the past. It seemed like the woman needed to take up some sort of masculine aspect in order to get control of the situation.
So I think I, in need of some control as well, allowed the transvestite part of myself to "dress in drag" and look like a man, so that I could get some control over a situation. But I'm not sure. That analysis seems a little shaky. I might be reading a little too much into stuff.
I don't want to get too much into my other dreams, now that I've spent so much time on this dream. For the third dream, I'd say that the "gash" the man receives also comes from Orient Express, where the man murdered has been gashed twelve times.
But the gash being on the nose makes me think of the expression "nose out of joint." That means, of course, that someone's been offended. Usually it means someone's been offended by something they probably shouldn't have been offended so easily by. The fact that the man is overworked and exhausted and then he gets his "nose out of joint" is all a statement about me personally.
For the first dream, the spaceflight dream, the only thing I'll say right now is that I had another dream, only a few nights ago, where my spaceflight had been delayed. That dream also started with me flying around in a space capsule, then landing. And in that dream I was, again, delayed by a man who was something like a supervisor to me, and who said I wasn't ready for a spaceflight yet.
I'm not sure what the meaning is to all that. But it's interesting that the themes repeated themselves so plainly.
Both blogs are rather personal. I'd guess that the "maboroshi no yume" blog is more personal than this blog. Like I said, "maboroshi no yume" is a journal of my dreams. This blog will be like an analysis of my deams.
But I am going to try to give "my life's (a) dream" a broader scope, so that there will be more content of general interest and relevance. I find that my dreams are based on what I read in books, what I see online, what I hear in the news, and what I experience in the outside world. So I think this blog is an attempt to connect the very personal landscape of my dreams with the more conventionally social world of waking life.
But, also, a warning for anybody who is not into fetish: I am an adult baby, at least part-time. And I am interested in other fetishes, even though I may not partake in them. So there will be a lot of discussion, most likely, of sexuality, fetish, and especially of paraphilic infantilism, or of being an adult baby.
The first impression I got from my first dream in this post was that it was partly inspired by my reading in the John D. MacDonald novel Condominium. This novel, written in 1977, is about a poorly built Condominium, the people who poorly run it, and the people who live in it and are fighting to make it a better place to live.
The novel has a lot to offer current readers, I believe: it shows the housing market on the brink of colapse, and the effects of a poorly managed housing market on regular American citizens.
I think the plot element that stuck in my dreams is of these young people hanging around the condominium, kind of threatening the older people who live in the building.
I had another dream a few nights ago about young people hanging around on what I thought of as "Kurt Cobain's estate," a kind of huge mansion with Buddhist, and, eventually, apocalyptic Chritstian sculpture all over the place.
I'm 34 years old. And I think I'm looking back to having been a young person. I wish those days of youth could come back for me. And so I think I'm having these dreams full of young people.
The apartment complexes are very much like the tall housing projects on the East side of Manhattan. There actually is a highway overpass that runs alongside some of them, kind of shadowing the road that passes alongside the projects.
I think the reason for my having thought of these apartment complexes was that I'd watched a video on YouTube last night by an adult baby named Riley Kilo. I was surprised to hear that Riley had left New York City at about the same time as I had, in the middle of January of this year. It made me nostalgic to for New York. So I think my dream set me in New York, to make me feel like I was "back home" (even though, really, I'm back home right now).
I've recently started wearing diapers to bed as well. And I think the fact that I wear diapers to bed gave me the image of walking around town in only diapers.
Those are the main images that I think relate my dream to my waking life experiences. Have a good day, and I hope to be back here very soon for you!
